A Trauma Therapist in Seattle Explains: Trauma and Negative Thinking
Photo courtesy of Kurt Onur
Have you noticed stubborn negative thoughts about yourself, the world, or the future that seem to run on a constant loop in your mind?
It’s no secret that trauma can leave deep emotional wounds—but one of the most insidious effects of trauma is the way it changes how we think. These patterns often form as a survival response and can be unlearned.
Hi, I’m Diane Dempcy, a trauma therapist in Seattle. I not only specialize in trauma, but also specialize in anxiety, EMDR, and support for parents of children experiencing a mental health crisis.
In this post, we’ll explore how trauma impacts our thinking, why negative thought patterns persist, and how to begin healing.
How Trauma Shapes the Brain—and Our Thoughts
Let’s start with a basic understanding of how trauma affects the brain. Trauma isn’t just about what happened to you—it’s also about how your body and mind responded when something overwhelming or threatening occurs.
Here’s what’s happening behind the scenes:
The amygdala, your brain’s smoke detector, goes into overdrive. It’s scanning for danger 24/7, even long after the threat is gone.
The prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational thinking and decision-making, often goes offline in trauma states. This makes it harder to think clearly or talk yourself down from distress.
The hippocampus, which helps with memory and a sense of time, can become dysregulated. That’s why traumatic memories often feel vivid, stuck in the present, or fragmented.
This combination creates the perfect storm for negative thinking.
Childhood Trauma Can Set the Stage for Negative Thinking
If you’ve experienced childhood abuse, neglect, or inconsistent caregiving, your developing brain may have learned to experience the world as unsafe. Trauma during early development doesn’t just fade—it becomes wired into your nervous system. Even in adulthood, your brain and body can remain on high alert, reacting to everyday stressors as if they were life-threatening.
Life itself can begin to register as a series of potential threats. This happens unconsciously—your nervous system may respond to a particular tone of voice, a missed text, or even someone’s facial expression as if you're in danger again. These are not “overreactions” but conditioned responses rooted in survival.
Without realizing it, your inner world can become shaped by these early patterns. You might find yourself stuck in loops of self-doubt, fear, or shame—not because you’re broken, but because your brain did exactly what it needed to survive.
Healing begins with understanding that these responses are not your fault; they are symptoms of a nervous system shaped by trauma.
Photo courtesy of Ramdhasuma Afif
The Survival Logic of Negative Thinking
If you’ve lived through trauma, your nervous system may still be operating as if danger is right around the corner. This isn’t a character flaw; it’s your body’s brilliant but outdated attempt to protect you. And with that, survival mode comes survival-based thinking.
Some examples:
All-or-nothing thinking: “If I’m not perfect, I’ll be rejected.”
Catastrophizing: “This small mistake is going to ruin everything.”
Hypervigilance: “If I let my guard down, I’ll get hurt.”
Self-blame: “If something went wrong, it must be my fault.”
These thoughts may have served a purpose at one time. Maybe blaming yourself gave you a sense of control in a chaotic situation. Maybe expecting the worst helped you prepare for disappointment. But what once helped you survive can now keep you stuck.
Trauma-related negative thoughts tend to cluster around a few painful themes:
1. “I’m not safe.” This belief often shows up after abuse, violence, or medical trauma. Even in objectively safe environments, your body might remain on high alert.
2. “I can’t trust anyone.” Betrayal or abandonment can lead to chronic mistrust. You may struggle to let people in, even if they’re supportive.
3. “It’s all my fault.” This is especially common for survivors of childhood trauma. If you were powerless to stop what was happening, believing it was your fault might have helped you make sense of it.
4. “I’m broken / unlovable.” Shame is one of the most toxic outcomes of trauma. When the pain is internalized, it can feel like something is wrong with you, not just with what happened.
5. “Nothing will ever get better.” This type of thinking can reflect a trauma-induced hopelessness, where the future feels bleak no matter what you do.
These aren’t just thoughts—they’re emotional truths rooted in lived experience. They may have become so automatic that you don’t even notice them anymore. But once you bring them into awareness, you can begin to shift them.
Common Negative Thought Patterns Linked to Trauma
Even when you know a thought isn’t true, it can still feel true. Why?
Because trauma wires the brain for repetition. Each time you have a thought like “I’m not safe,” and your body responds with anxiety, you reinforce that thought’s credibility. Over time, a single belief can hardwire itself into your nervous system and show up automatically.
Here’s how the cycle often works:
Thought → Emotion → Behavior → Reinforcement
For example:
Thought: “People always leave me.”
Emotion: Sadness, fear, anxiety.
Behavior: Pulling away from relationships.
Reinforcement: Isolation makes you feel abandoned again.
Breaking this cycle takes more than logic. It takes compassion, safety, and repetition of a new experience.
How to Break the Cycle of Negative Thinking
As a trauma therapist in Seattle, I have good news for you: Your brain is capable of change. Even long-held patterns can shift with the right support. Here are some trauma-informed ways to begin:
1. Awareness First
Healing begins with noticing. Start paying attention to your internal dialogue without judgment. Journaling can be a powerful way to spot recurring patterns.
Ask yourself:
What’s the tone of my thoughts?
What story am I telling myself?
Who might have given me this belief?
Bringing curiosity to your thoughts (instead of criticism) opens the door to change.
2. Trauma-Informed Therapies
Several therapies are especially effective for addressing trauma-related thought patterns:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps your brain reprocess traumatic memories and update the associated beliefs. Many clients find that painful thoughts like “It was my fault” begin to soften naturally after EMDR. As a certified EMDR therapist in Seattle, I can attest to the power of EMDR therapy.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers tools to challenge and reframe distorted thinking. This can help replace old beliefs with more balanced, compassionate ones.
DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) combines cognitive work with emotional regulation, mindfulness, and relational skills—all important for trauma recovery.
Parts Work / Internal Family Systems (IFS) invites you to connect with different “parts” of yourself, including the ones that hold negative beliefs. You can begin to understand these parts as protectors, not enemies.
Somatic therapies help calm the nervous system, which makes it easier to access and shift your thoughts. When your body feels safe, your mind can follow.
3. Gentle Reframing
Instead of trying to force yourself into positive thinking, try compassionate reframing.
Original thought: “I’m too damaged to be loved.”
Reframed: “I learned to protect myself by pulling away, but I still long for connection.”
Original thought: “I always mess things up.”
Reframed: “I’m doing the best I can with the tools I’ve had—and I’m learning new ones.”
Reframes work best when they’re believable. You don’t have to jump to “I love myself” if that feels fake. Start with “I’m open to the idea that I’m not as bad as I think.”
Rewiring the Brain Through Experience
Thought work is important—but for trauma survivors, experiences matter even more.
Your brain changes through experience. The more you experience safety, connection, and success in small doses, the more your brain rewires itself for trust, calm, and confidence.
Here are some ways to create new experiences:
Therapeutic relationships that feel attuned and validating
Boundaries that protect your energy and promote safety
Mindfulness practices that teach your body it’s okay to relax
Creative expression (art, music, movement) to integrate emotion
Community or support groups where you feel seen and accepted
Each positive experience becomes a counterweight to the old belief—and over time, the scale can shift.
Self-Compassion Along the Way
As you begin to notice and challenge your negative thoughts, another thought might creep in: “Why am I still dealing with this?” or “I should be over this by now.”
Pause here. That’s another old belief.
Healing isn’t linear. It’s a spiral. You might revisit the same thought many times on your journey—but each time, you come back with more awareness, more tools, and more strength.
Here are a few mantras to carry with you:
“It makes sense that I think this way. I’m learning to think differently.”
“My brain was doing its best to protect me.”
“Healing takes time—and I’m worth the effort.”
A Reminder: You Are Not Your Thoughts
This might be the most important truth I can offer you: You are not your thoughts.
You are not the voice that says you’re too much or not enough. You are not the inner critic who echoes the voices of the past. You are not the belief that says healing isn’t possible.
You are the one noticing those thoughts. You are the one choosing to heal.
And that part of you—the part that’s still here, still seeking, still hopeful—is stronger than you know.
Wrapping It Up
Trauma may have shaped your thinking, but it doesn’t define you. You have the power to rewrite those inner narratives. Through awareness, support, and trauma-informed healing, you can shift from “I’m broken” to “I’m healing,” from “It’s all my fault” to “I did what I had to do to survive.”
If you’re resonating with what you’ve read, please know that support is available. You don’t have to do this work alone.
As a trauma therapist in Seattle trained in EMDR, DBT, and somatic approaches, I help adults unravel the tangled web of trauma and negative thinking in a safe, compassionate space.
Diane Dempcy, LMHC
If you’re ready to explore therapy, I’d love to support you. Whether you’re working through trauma, anxiety, or relationship struggles, you deserve a space to feel safe, seen, and supported. Please email me at therapy@dempcycounseling.com
Diane Dempcy provides therapy in Seattle to adults experiencing anxiety and trauma. She utilizes brain-based tools such as EMDR, DBT, and other types of therapy. Diane’s clients experience her as direct, empowering, warm, and accepting
She provides online and in-person therapy in Seattle and surrounding cities.
