A Trauma Therapist in Seattle Explains: Nervous System Calming Techniques for Emotional Balance
Photo courtesy of Bashar Calmdarius
When most people hear the word trauma, they imagine something dramatic—war, accidents, or disasters. But trauma can take many forms, and often it’s not just the big, life-changing events. For many people, trauma shows up as subtle but powerful experiences in childhood—emotional neglect, a chaotic household, an alcoholic or addicted parent, being criticized constantly, or feeling unsafe in your own skin. This is where trauma therapy in Seattle can make a difference, offering support and tools to process the past while creating a calmer, more balanced present.
Hi, I’m Diane Dempcy, a trauma therapist in Seattle, and a certified EMDR therapist. Along with trauma, I also specialize in anxiety, EMDR, and support for parents of children experiencing a mental health crisis.
In this post, we’ll explore how trauma impacts our thinking, why negative thought patterns persist, and how to begin healing.
Why Do I React So Strongly?
Even if those early experiences are years in the past, the mind and body remember. Trauma doesn’t always leave visible scars, but it has a way of shaping how we think, feel, and interact with the world. Sometimes it shows up in how easily we get stressed, in the difficulty of calming down after an argument, or in the way we withdraw from relationships. Other times, trauma hides behind perfectionism, overworking, or always feeling “on alert.”
If you’ve ever wondered why you react so strongly in certain situations—or why calm feels so hard to come by—you’re not alone. Understanding trauma and emotional regulation is the first step toward creating a more peaceful, balanced life. And the good news is: your nervous system can learn to find calm again.
Why Emotional Regulation Matters
Emotional regulation is the ability to notice what you’re feeling, ride the wave of that feeling, and return to a place of balance without getting stuck in overwhelm or shutting down. It’s not about “never getting upset” or “always staying calm”—that’s unrealistic. Instead, it’s about flexibility: being able to experience emotions fully, but also being able to come back to center.
For people who’ve experienced trauma or anywhere else, emotional regulation can feel like an uphill battle. Maybe you find yourself snapping at a loved one for small things, or you feel like you can’t “switch off” your thoughts when it’s time to rest. Sometimes the feelings come so fast that they seem to take over, leaving you drained and wondering, Why can’t I just handle this better?
The truth is, it’s not about weakness. Trauma rewires the brain and nervous system in very real ways. When you understand what’s happening, it’s easier to stop blaming yourself—and start practicing compassion.
How Trauma Shapes the Nervous System
Think of your brain as having two main systems:
The amygdala, which is like a smoke detector, is always scanning for danger.
The prefrontal cortex, also known as executive functioning, acts like the wise decision-maker, helping you think rationally and calm down when stress shows up.
When trauma happens, the amygdala gets turned up high, and it doesn’t always turn back down. It keeps scanning, even when there’s no real threat. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex can get pushed offline in moments of stress. That’s why, in the heat of the moment, you might react with fight, flight, or freeze instead of responding thoughtfully.
If you grew up in an environment where safety wasn’t consistent, your nervous system may have learned to stay in “survival mode.” As an adult, this might look like chronic stress, anxiety, irritability, or shutting down emotionally.
In short: your body is doing its best to protect you—but it’s operating on old instructions. Trauma therapy in Seattle is one way people learn to rewrite those instructions and give the nervous system new, healthier patterns.
Photo courtesy of Max Van Den Oetelaa
The Role of Childhood Trauma
Childhood trauma often lingers in ways people don’t expect. You might not consciously think about your past every day, but your nervous system carries those memories in the form of patterns.
For example, a child who had to tiptoe around a parent’s unpredictable moods might grow into an adult who feels overly anxious at work, always waiting for criticism. A child who didn’t receive comfort when upset may grow up struggling to self-soothe when stressed, leading to anxiety or burnout.
Even if you can’t recall exact events, your body remembers. Many adults discover in therapy that their difficulty regulating emotions isn’t random—it’s connected to those early experiences. Realizing this can be incredibly freeing. It shifts the question from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What happened to me, and how can I heal?”
Attachment and Relationships
One of the clearest places trauma shows up is in relationships. Attachment—the blueprint for how we connect—forms in childhood. When that attachment is secure, we grow up able to trust, communicate, and navigate conflict with more ease.
But when trauma is present, different patterns can form:
Anxious attachment: Worrying about rejection, craving reassurance, feeling fearful of abandonment.
Avoidant attachment: Struggling to trust, keeping people at a distance, appearing self-reliant but feeling isolated.
Disorganized attachment: A mix of both—longing for closeness while fearing it at the same time.
These patterns don’t mean you’re doomed in relationships. They simply mean your nervous system learned to protect you in specific ways. Trauma therapy in Seattle helps you recognize these patterns, build awareness, and gradually create new, healthier ways of connecting.
Trauma in the Workplace
It’s not just personal relationships that feel the effects of trauma. Many professionals quietly carry the weight of early trauma into their careers. It might look like:
Overworking to avoid criticism or failure.
Feeling overly anxious before meetings or presentations.
Struggling to take feedback without spiraling into shame.
Difficulty setting boundaries with colleagues.
The workplace can trigger old feelings of not being good enough, unsafe, or out of control. Part of healing is recognizing that these reactions aren’t just about the present moment—they’re rooted in old survival strategies. Once you see the connection, it becomes easier to separate past from present.
Resilience and Post-Traumatic Growth
Here’s something hopeful: trauma may change the nervous system, but it doesn’t erase your ability to heal and grow. In fact, many people who have faced adversity develop remarkable resilience.
Resilience doesn’t mean pretending nothing happened. It means adapting, finding strength, and learning to move forward while acknowledging the pain of the past. Some people even experience post-traumatic growth—new perspectives, deeper compassion, and stronger connections that emerge after working through trauma.
It’s important to honor both sides: the very real pain and the potential for growth. Healing isn’t linear—it’s often two steps forward, one step back. But over time, the nervous system can relearn safety, and life can begin to feel more balanced.
Signs It Might Be Time to Seek Trauma Therapy in Seattle
If you’ve experienced trauma and wonder whether therapy could help, here are some signs to pay attention to:
You feel constantly on edge or exhausted by stress.
Small triggers cause big emotional reactions.
Relationships feel overwhelming or distant.
You’re hard on yourself, with constant self-criticism.
Anxiety, depression, or mood swings interfere with daily life.
These aren’t signs of failure—they’re signs your nervous system is asking for care. Reaching out for support can be a powerful step toward healing.
How Trauma Therapy in Seattle Can Help
Therapy provides a safe, compassionate space to explore the effects of trauma and learn new ways to regulate emotions. Different approaches can be helpful, including:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Helps reprocess traumatic memories so they no longer feel overwhelming.
DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Focuses on emotional regulation, mindfulness, and building healthier coping strategies.
Somatic and body-based approaches: Teach the nervous system how to release tension and reconnect with calm.
In therapy, you’ll practice skills to recognize triggers, calm your nervous system, and respond more thoughtfully instead of reacting on autopilot. Over time, this creates a sense of safety and confidence you may not have felt in years.
Practical Tools for Everyday Calm
While trauma therapy in Seattle offers deep healing, there are also everyday practices that support emotional regulation:
Mindful breathing: Even a few slow, intentional breaths can signal safety to your body.
Grounding exercises: Focusing on your senses—like noticing five things you see, four you feel, three you hear—can bring you back to the present.
Movement: Walking, yoga, or stretching helps release stored tension.
Journaling: Writing about feelings without judgment can make them less overwhelming.
Compassion practices: Speaking to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend.
These tools may seem simple, but used consistently, they can help retrain your nervous system and build resilience.
Wrapping It Up
Healing from trauma isn’t about erasing the past. It’s about learning new ways to live with it—ways that feel lighter, calmer, and more compassionate. Trauma therapy in Seattle can help you reconnect with yourself, strengthen relationships, and create a sense of stability you may have longed for since childhood.
You don’t have to do it alone. Whether you’ve been carrying trauma for years or just recently recognized its effects, there is a path forward. With support, your nervous system can learn to trust safety again, and you can begin to experience life with more ease, balance, and hope.
Remember: you are not defined by what happened to you. You are defined by how you care for yourself now, and by the resilience you’re already carrying inside.
Diane Dempcy, LMHC
If you’re ready to explore therapy, I’d love to support you. Whether you’re working through trauma, anxiety, or relationship struggles, you deserve a space to feel safe, seen, and supported. Please email me at therapy@dempcycounseling.com
Diane Dempcy provides therapy in Seattle to adults experiencing anxiety and trauma. She utilizes brain-based tools such as EMDR, DBT, and other types of therapy. Diane’s clients experience her as direct, empowering, warm, and accepting
She provides online and in-person therapy in Seattle and surrounding cities.
