White woman with blonde hair across her face and jumping symbolizing trauma dissociation — Photo courtesy of Micah Hallahan

Have you ever felt like you’re just going through the motions—numb, foggy, or like you're watching your life from the outside? Maybe you struggle to connect with your emotions, your body, or your memories. You might even wonder, Why do I feel like this? What’s wrong with me?

Hi, I’m Diane Dempcy, a trauma therapist in Seattle. First things first: you’re not broken. That disconnected feeling has a name—dissociation—and it’s actually something your brain does to protect you. I work with a lot of people who feel this way. And I want you to know: it makes sense, and you’re not alone.

In this blog, I’ll provide you with information about how dissociation show up, the purpose of dissociation (yes, it has a purpose!), a brief overview of the neuroscience of dissociation, and healing from dissociation.

What Is Dissociation, Really?

Dissociation is your nervous system’s way of stepping in when something feels too overwhelming—emotionally or physically. It’s like hitting the “pause” button on parts of your experience: your feelings, your body, your thoughts, or your sense of time.

It exists on a wide spectrum. Everyone zones out now and then (i.e., highway hypnosis), but for people who’ve been through trauma, especially as kids, dissociation can happen more often and get in the way of daily life.

Here are a few common forms of dissociation:

Depersonalization – Feeling like you're outside your body, watching yourself.
Derealization – The world feels unreal, foggy, or dreamlike.
Emotional numbing – You want to feel something, but… nothing’s there.
Memory gaps – You forget important details or entire chunks of time.
Identity confusion – Struggling to feel like one consistent “you.”

None of this means something is wrong with you. It means your brain is doing what it learned to do to protect you.

Why Does Dissociation Happen?

Here’s the short version: survival.

When we experience stress or danger, our bodies instinctively shift into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. But when those responses aren’t possible—like during childhood abuse, medical trauma, or emotional neglect—the brain may shut things down to protect you. That’s dissociation.

It often begins in childhood because kids don’t have the tools or power to escape or make sense of what’s happening. So the brain says: Let’s check out for a bit until this is over.

And honestly? That worked. You survived. But now, as an adult, that old survival strategy might be getting in the way of feeling present, connected, or fully alive.

Photo of tree roots symbolizing psychological grounding after trauma therapy — Photo courtesy of Felix Mittermeier

What’s Happening in the Brain?

Without going too deep into brain science, here are the basics:

Amygdala: Your inner smoke detector—goes on high alert during danger.
Prefrontal cortex: The rational part that helps you stay present—tends to go offline during trauma.
Hippocampus: Helps with memory and time—gets a little scrambled under stress.
Insula: Helps you feel sensations in your body—goes quiet during dissociation.
Vagus nerve: Can put the body into shut-down mode when things feel too much.

The point is, this is your body protecting you—not failing you. Understanding this can help lift a lot of the shame people carry.

A Trauma Therapist in Seattle Explains: Signs You Might Be Dissociating

Sometimes dissociation is sneaky, especially if it’s been part of your life for a long time. Some signs to look for:

Feeling numb or emotionally flat
Losing time or forgetting parts of your day
Feeling like you're on autopilot
Struggling to stay present in conversations
Not noticing hunger, pain, or fatigue
Feeling like you or the world around you isn’t real
Forgetting important details about yourself or your past

Sound familiar? If so, you're not alone—and you’re not “doing life wrong.” These are signs your system has been trying to protect you for a long time.

Emily’s Story (Name Changed for Privacy)

As a trauma therapist in Seattle, I’ve worked with wonderful people seeking a better life. Let me tell you about one of these great people I worked with—we’ll call her Emily.

When Emily first came to therapy, she said it felt like she was “living behind glass.” She could do all the right things—work, socialize, keep up appearances—but she wasn’t feeling much of anything. Emotions were distant. She’d forget full conversations or appointments. She felt ashamed and frustrated. “I know what I should feel,” she said, “but I just don’t.”

Emily had tried therapy before, but nothing clicked. Then she decided to try trauma therapy in Seattle and EMDR.

Recognizing Dissociation

We started small. Grounding exercises. Things like pressing her feet against the floor, breathing deeply, noticing colors in the room. Over time, Emily learned to recognize when she was starting to dissociate—and instead of getting mad at herself, she practiced meeting that part with kindness. “You kept me safe,” she would say. “Thank you.”

Once Emily had some tools to stay grounded, we started working with the trauma that caused the dissociation. Not all at once—just a little at a time. With pacing, safety, and support, she was able to process memories that once felt completely off-limits.

And something shifted. She began to remember more of her week. She noticed the bright green leaves of a tree in her backyard. She felt love for a friend. One day, she cried—and instead of panicking, she said, “I think I’m finally feeling things again.”

Emily didn’t stop dissociating overnight. But over time, she reconnected with herself. And most importantly, she no longer hated the part of her that dissociated. She honored it—and learned to live alongside it with more compassion.

Healing Is Possible

If you recognize yourself in this post, take heart: dissociation doesn’t mean you’re stuck forever. It means your system did what it had to do. And now, in the safety of a supportive relationship—like therapy—you can begin to reconnect.

You don’t have to force anything. You don’t have to dig up every traumatic memory right away. Healing from dissociation is about gentle reconnection, curiosity, and self-compassion.

It’s about learning tools that help you stay grounded, feel your emotions without getting overwhelmed, and build a relationship with the parts of yourself that have been trying to protect you all along.

Final Thoughts from an EMDR Therapist in Seattle

You Deserve to Feel Present and Whole

Dissociation isn’t the enemy. It’s a survival skill—one you probably needed at one point in your life. But you don’t have to live disconnected forever.

Whether you’ve been on your healing path for a while or are just starting to understand what’s been happening, I want you to know: healing is possible. You deserve a life where you feel connected to yourself, your body, your memories, and your emotions.

If you’re ready to explore therapy, I’d love to support you. Whether you’re working through trauma, anxiety, or relationship struggles, you deserve a space to feel safe, seen, and supported. Please email me at therapy@dempcycounseling.com

Diane Dempcy provides therapy in Seattle to adults experiencing anxiety and trauma. She utilizes brain-based tools such as EMDR, DBT, and other types of therapy. Diane’s clients experience her as direct, empowering, warm, and accepting

She provides online and in-person therapy in Washington.

A Trauma Therapist In Seattle Explains Dissociation