A tottler and grandmother sitting on a couch watching tv symbolizing intergenerational trauma healed by trauma therapy in Seattle. — Photo courtesy of Nikita Goduno

When most of us think about trauma, we picture something that happens to one person—a scary event, a painful loss, or a major life disruption. But here’s the thing: trauma doesn’t always stay with just one person. Families can carry it, sometimes silently, across generations. Grandparents’ struggles can echo into parents’ lives, and parents’ unresolved pain can ripple into their children’s experiences. This is what we call intergenerational trauma, and understanding it can be life-changing.

If you’ve ever wondered why certain family dynamics feel like they keep repeating, or why you’re struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, or emotional disconnection even though your own life seems “fine,” intergenerational trauma might hold some answers. The good news? Once we see it, we can start to break the cycle—and that’s where therapy, self-awareness, and compassion come in. If you’re exploring trauma therapy in Seattle, this is exactly the kind of deep work that can help you connect the dots between your past and your present.

Hi, I’m Diane Dempcy, a trauma therapist in Seattle, and a certified EMDR therapist. Along with trauma, I also specialize in anxiety, EMDR, and support for parents of children experiencing a mental health crisis.

What Exactly Is Intergenerational Trauma?

At its core, intergenerational trauma is when one generation’s pain influences the emotional and psychological health of the next. Sometimes this happens through family dynamics—like when a parent who grew up in chaos struggles with emotional availability. Other times it happens biologically, called epigenetics. And often, it’s a mix of both.

Take this example: a parent who experienced neglect as a child may desperately want to be a loving, protective caregiver. And they probably are—but if their own trauma is unresolved, they may still be emotionally guarded, quick to react, or anxious in ways their kids can’t quite name. Kids are perceptive, and they’ll absorb these patterns, often without words ever being exchanged. Over time, these responses become family habits, passed down like an invisible heirloom.

The Science-y Part: Epigenetics

Here’s where it gets fascinating: trauma doesn’t just shape how families behave—it can actually influence our biology. Through something called epigenetics, scientists have found that trauma can change the way our genes are expressed, without changing the DNA itself.

In simple terms: if someone lives through chronic stress or trauma, the body might adapt by flipping certain genetic “switches” on or off. And those changes can sometimes get passed down to the next generation.

What does that mean? Well, a parent who endured trauma might unknowingly pass along a heightened stress response to their kids, making them more sensitive to stress or more vulnerable to anxiety. It doesn’t mean anyone is doomed—it just means awareness and support can change the outcome. Therapy, self-care, and resilience-building actually help reset those stress responses, proving that healing is not only possible but powerful.

Maria’s Story

Healing intergenerational trauma isn’t just about you—it’s about rewriting the story for future generations.

Let’s bring this to life with Maria’s Story. (Details changed for privacy.)

“Maria” came to trauma therapy in Seattle feeling burned out, anxious, and frustrated that she couldn’t shake a constant sense of guilt. She had a successful career and a loving family, but internally, she felt on edge and unworthy.

During intake, she shared that her grandmother had been a refugee who lived through war, and her mother grew up in survival mode—always frugal, always fearful of “what might happen.” Without realizing it, Maria had inherited not just stories, but the weight of this survival mindset.

In therapy, she began to see that her anxiety wasn’t about being “broken” or “too sensitive.” It was a reflection of generational patterns of fear and scarcity. Through EMDR, grounding practices, and learning to self-soothe, Maria slowly untangled her own story from her family’s. Today, she feels freer, more compassionate toward herself, and able to parent her children from a place of calm rather than fear.

This is the power of naming and healing intergenerational trauma.

David’s Story

“David” sought trauma therapy in Seattle after years of battling exhaustion, high stress, and a constant sense that he needed to “prove himself.” Outwardly, he was thriving—he held a respected job, was active in his community, and had a close family. But privately, he often felt hyper-alert, bracing for criticism or rejection even in safe spaces.

During his intake session, David shared his family history. His grandparents had grown up in the Jim Crow South, navigating daily threats of violence and systemic oppression. His parents carried their stories of resilience, but also the unspoken message: as a Black person, you must work twice as hard to be safe and respected.

Through exploring his history, David began to understand that his persistent anxiety wasn’t simply a matter of “being a perfectionist.” It was rooted in generations of racial trauma—an inheritance of vigilance and survival. The science of epigenetics helps explain part of this: research shows that chronic exposure to racism and oppression can leave biological imprints, altering stress responses in ways that may be passed down.

Through exploring his history, David began to understand that his persistent anxiety wasn’t simply a matter of “being a perfectionist.” It was rooted in generations of racial trauma.

In therapy, David started to name this legacy and release the belief that he had to constantly push beyond his limits to matter. With EMDR, grounding practices, and cultural affirmation, he began to create a new relationship with himself—one where worth was not tied to overachievement or constant vigilance.

For David, healing wasn’t about erasing his family’s past but honoring it differently. By acknowledging both the pain and the resilience of his ancestors, he could finally move toward balance. He describes it as carrying his family’s story with pride, but no longer carrying the weight of their fear in his nervous system.

This is the gift of addressing intergenerational racial trauma: the chance to transform inherited survival into embodied freedom.

A baby and grandmother holding hand symbolizing intergenerational trauma healed by trauma therapy in Seattle. — Photo courtesy of Rod Long

Patterns That Get Passed Down

Trauma shows up in families in all kinds of ways. Some families get stuck in cycles of conflict and reactivity. Others pass along perfectionism, emotional distance, or an inability to talk about feelings. Some lean into overprotection and hypervigilance, while others lean on avoidance.

And kids adapt. Some become people-pleasers. Some withdraw. Some overachieve to stay “safe.” What started as a survival mechanism becomes a blueprint for how to handle life.

Even as adults, these blueprints can stick. You might find yourself working nonstop, struggling with intimacy, or bracing for rejection even in safe relationships. Recognizing these patterns isn’t about blaming our parents or grandparents—it’s about understanding the context and realizing we can rewrite the script.

Community And Cultural Layers

Intergenerational trauma doesn’t just come down through the family line—whole communities can carry intergenerational trauma, especially those impacted by systemic oppression, forced migration, war, or slavery.

Even generations later, descendants may feel heightened anxiety, mistrust, or responsibility for keeping the family or culture afloat. When therapy acknowledges cultural and collective trauma, healing becomes not just personal but also deeply validating. It helps people understand that their feelings make sense within a much bigger picture.

Intergenerational Trauma vs. Current Mental Health Struggles

Here’s something important to highlight: not every mental health challenge we face today is caused by intergenerational trauma. Anxiety, depression, and stress can arise from current life circumstances—work pressure, relationship struggles, financial strain, or medical issues.

So how do we tell the difference?

Current mental health struggles often link directly to something happening now: a breakup, burnout, or ongoing stress at work. Symptoms might improve once the stressor changes or with short-term coping skills.
Intergenerational trauma feels different. It shows up as patterns that don’t quite “fit” your own story—like perfectionism, hypervigilance, or deep guilt without a clear cause. It may feel like you’re carrying emotions that don’t fully belong to you.

Not every mental health challenge we face today is caused by intergenerational trauma.

Sometimes, the two overlap. A present-day stressor may activate inherited patterns, making the reaction feel much bigger than the event itself. For example, a minor argument with your boss might trigger an outsized fear of abandonment—echoing not just today’s tension but a family legacy of instability or rejection.

Distinguishing between the two matters because it shapes treatment. If you’re struggling with burnout, learning boundaries and stress management may help. But if you’re carrying intergenerational trauma, therapy that explores your family’s history—such as EMDR or narrative work—can reach the deeper layers.

A skilled trauma therapist will help you sort out which is which, so you don’t get stuck blaming yourself for “overreacting” when the truth is, you may be carrying a much older wound.

Breaking The Cycle

Here is hope: cycles can be broken. Healing doesn’t erase the past, but it creates new futures. In trauma therapy, whether through EMDR, DBT, or other brain-based approaches, adults can process what they’ve inherited and make intentional choices for themselves and their families.

It doesn’t have to be complicated, either. Small practices matter: slowing down when you’re overwhelmed, journaling to track triggers, practicing mindfulness to calm your nervous system, or simply being curious about your reactions instead of judging them.

Having open conversations about family history can also be incredibly healing—finally saying out loud what was once kept in silence. These steps, while simple, can change the way future generations experience life.

A teen daughter, a mother and a grandmother sitting on an outside bench symbolizing intergenerational trauma healed by trauma therapy in Seattle. — Image courtesy of Kaspars Eglitis

Seeking Therapy in Seattle: Why The Intake Process Matters

This is where a really good intake session with a qualified therapist becomes so important. Intake isn’t just paperwork or ticking boxes—it’s a deep dive into your story, including your family’s story. Because intergenerational trauma hides in patterns, a thoughtful therapist will ask about parents, grandparents, cultural history, even stories passed down through your community.

Clients are often surprised at how much this connects the dots. Suddenly, perfectionism or unexplained anxiety doesn’t feel like a personal flaw, but a thread in a larger family story. That shift alone can be powerful—and it sets the stage for therapy that actually gets to the root instead of just the symptoms.

If you’re considering trauma therapy in Seattle, expect that intake to be more than a surface-level conversation. It’s the therapist’s way of mapping not only your own experiences but the legacy you carry with you.

Wrapping It Up

Here’s what I want you to hear loud and clear: intergenerational trauma is not a life sentence. Yes, it may quietly influence family dynamics and personal struggles, but awareness opens the door to freedom. Every step you take toward healing—whether that’s in therapy, self-reflection, or daily self-compassion—creates a ripple forward.

You’re not just healing yourself. You’re offering your children, grandchildren, and community a new template for safety, connection, and resilience.

If you’re curious about starting this journey, trauma therapy in Seattle offers a safe, supportive space to explore your story. You don’t have to untangle generations of pain alone. With the right support, you can create a legacy of healing that goes far beyond you—and that’s one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself and the generations to come.

Trauma therapist in Seattle offering EMDR and DBT, seated in a welcoming counseling office — Diane Dempcy, LMHC

If you’re ready to explore therapy, I’d love to support you. Whether you’re working through trauma, anxiety, or relationship struggles, you deserve a space to feel safe, seen, and supported. Please email me at therapy@dempcycounseling.com

Diane Dempcy provides therapy in Seattle to adults experiencing anxiety and trauma. She utilizes brain-based tools such as EMDR, DBT, and other types of therapy. Diane’s clients experience her as direct, empowering, warm, and accepting

She provides online and in-person therapy in Seattle and surrounding cities.

A Trauma Therapist In Seattle Explains: Intergenerational Trauma